Exhaustion: A User's Guide

I have been busy lately. Extraordinarily, exhaustingly busy. I work at a magazine two days a week and in retail four days. Retail, as anyone who's worked there or had the slightest bit of empathy for somebody else working there, is exhausting - physically and emotionally demanding, with shifts ranging from 9 to 11 hours at a stretch and unpredictable schedules that make it impossible to form any sort of sleep pattern. On top of working an average of 57 hours a week, I have a brick-wall networking calendar that has me all around New York at all hours, and I recently started taking dance classes.

And I'm going to be honest - I love it. I love being busy, seeing people all the time, having things to do and keeping myself moving.

I love it right up to the exact point when my body sits down and goes "nope, sorry, you're not doing anything else today". At which point I ignore it and keep doing things anyway.

Which...may not be the best plan.

So INSTEAD of slowing down, I've decided to expend more of my dwindling energy to build...let's call it a user's guide. A user's guide to exhaustion.


Here goes.


You may find your thoughts trend inward. You may have find it hard to focus on others. You may think yourself selfish. This is normal.

You may find your mind wandering, only to discover it was thinking of nothing at all. This is also normal.

At the same time, you may want to spend more time with others, but forget to contact them. This is also normal.


You may make mistakes.

You will make mistakes.


You may forget things.

You may forget appointments.

You may forget to go to bed.

You may forget that others care.

You may forget to trust.

You may forget to care.


This is all normal.


Your legs may give out. Maybe at the top of the stairs. Or on the train. This is normal.

Your stomach may ache. Your head may ache. This is normal too.


You will push yourself.

You may wonder if you can get up tomorrow.

You may wonder if you can keep doing this.

You can.

You may wonder how.